Glue Jokes
When she was 4-years-old, my niece Chloe started this all off for me with the third joke down (which, by the way, I quote regularly in The Aerial Delights Show). So this is all her fault. Yeah.
I'd welcome any and all appropriate contributions to this page, no matter how far fetched. My contact info is here.
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Q. How do you fix a broken tuba?
A. Tuba glue.
Q. How do you fix a broken roller skate?
A. Rolla tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken tomato?
A. Tomato paste.
(submitted by Chloe Snyder)
Q. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
A. Pumpkin patch.
Q. How do you fix a broken eyeball?
A. Eye patch.
Q. How do you fix a broken shaggy moustache?
A. Handlebar tape.
(submitted by David Ruderman)
Q. How do you fix a broken leg joint?
A. Kneedle and thread.
Q. How do you fix a broken orchestra?
A. Bandage.
Q. How do you fix broken bagpipes?
A. Scotch tape.
Q. How do you fix broken dentures?
A. Toothpaste.
Q. How do you fix a broken email?
A. E-poxy.
Q. How do you fix a broken heart?
A. Ticker tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken movie?
A. Video tape.
(submitted by Sarah Dole)
Q. How do you fix a broken hearing aid?
A. Audio tape.
(inspired by David Ruderman)
Q. How do you fix a broken air duct?
A. Duct tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken mallard?
A. Duck tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken ape?
A. Gorilla glue.
Q. How else do you fix a broken bird?
A. Caulk.
Q. How do you fix a broken black bird?
A. Velcro.
Q. How do you fix broken stage scenery?
A. Set screw.
Q. What animal is good at fixing broken stuff?
A. Tapir.
(submitted by Joel Avery)
Q. How do you fix a broken lawn?
A. Solder.
Q. How do you fix Batman's cowl?
A. Masking tape.
Q. How do you fix Spider-Man's costume?
A. Super glue.
Q. How do you fix a broken "wascawy wabbit" hunter?
A. Elmer's glue.
Q. How do you fix a broken office supply store?
A. Staples.
Q. How do you fix a broken ponytail?
A. Horse glue.
Q. How do you fix broken lightening?
A. Electrical tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken yardstick?
A. Measuring tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken tense person?
A. Pressure tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken Middle East country?
A. Gum Arabic.
Q. How do you fix a broken letter?
A. C-ment.
Q. How do you fix a broken Greek letter?
A. Rhope.
Q. How do you fix a broken playground ball?
A. Rubber cement.
Q. How do you fix a broken bridge hand?
A. Rubber cement.
Q. How do you fix a broken wrestling mat?
A. Pin.
(inspired by David Ruderman)
Q. How do you fix a broken crossing guard?
A. Safety pin.
Q. How you you fix a broken story?
A. Yarn.
Q. How do you fix a broken lunatic?
A. Krazy glue.
(submitted by David Ruderman.)
Q. How do you fix a broken rifle?
A. Glue gun.
Q. How do you fix a stolen broken rifle?
A. Hot glue gun.
Q. How do you fix a broken grilled cheese sandwich?
A. Hot melt glue.
Q. How do you fix a broken sailor?
A. Tar.
Q. How do you fix a broken branch?
A. Glue stick.
Q. How do you fix a broken pine tree?
A. Pine tar.
Q. How do you fix a broken evergreen?
A. Silicone.
Q. How do you fix broken bait?
A. Tape worm.
(inspired by David Ruderman)
Q. How do you fix a broken home?
A. Household cement.
Q. How do you fix a broken Eskimo home?
A. Igloo.
(submitted by David Ruderman)
Q. How do you fix a broken classroom?
A. School paste.
Q. How do you fix a broken book?
A. Library paste.
Q. How do you fix a broken book report?
A. Paper clip.
Q. How do you fix a broken runaway kid?
A. Bolt.
Q. How do you fix a broken bed?
A. Cotter pin.
Q. How do you fix a broken laugh?
A. Stitches.
Q. How do you fix a broken lightbulb?
A. Filament tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken guitar strap?
A. Strapping tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken compass?
A. Magnetic tape.
(submitted by Joel Avery)
Q. How do you fix a broken sailboat?
A. Tack.
Q. How do you fix a broken vine?
A. Twine.
Q. How do you fix a broken violin?
A. String.
Q. How do you fix a broken foot race?
A. Finishing tape.
Q. How do you fix a broken long lost friend?
A. Contact cement.
Q. How do you fix mis-matched clothing?
A. Tacky glue.
(submitted by Matthew Liston)
Q. How do you fix a broken baby seal?
A. Sealant.
Q. How do you fix a broken double breasted jacket?
A. Double-stick tape.
Q. How do you fix a sore throat?
A. A-hem.
Q. How do you fix a broken golf club?
A. Putty.
Q. How do you fix a broken joke?
A. Silly Putty!
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