December 2008
The Wendell Town Hall in Wendell MA was built in the late 1800's. It's a charming little building that's basically a small gym with a stage at one end, bathrooms and (I think) a small kitchen. I performed here two months in a row in 1990 for the Full Moon Coffeehouse — a monthly variety show that's always a lot of fun. 
institutions of Berkshire County: Berkshire Medical Center. And today it was my great pleasure to entertain in Pittsfield at the Berkshire Medical Center staff children's Christmas party!
I arrived shortly after the party began, and Santa was already busy. One boy opening his gift squealed with glee to find a puppy plush toy waiting for him inside.Tuesday, December 9, 2008
So, we're listening to WMUA this afternoon, Nancy & I are, and the dj says he's got some tickets to give away real soon so get your phones ready, so I says to Nancy, "You oughta call in and get us some free tickets," so she does! She does some fancy dialing and is the first caller and they put us on the comp list to see The Bobs at the Iron Horse Music Hall at 7:00 tonight! Awesome!
For those of you who don't know them, The Bobs are an a cappella quartet that does funny take offs of pop songs, funny original songs, and one required serious song per concert ("just to prove to you and ourselves that we can do it.") It was a wonderful, delightful show that got a lot of laughs and a standing O at the end.
Check them out at <http://www.bobs.com>.
Thank you WMUA, too!
Thursday, December, 11
"This is why I don't use a last name"
More than 10 years ago, I formally dropped my last name because the press repeatedly mangled it in print: It makes it really hard for potential clients to find me if my name is spelled wrong every single time... and the press insists on referring to everyone by their last name, so there was no way out. Therefore, for professional reasons, I dropped that obviously impossible to spell last name because it was really bad for my career.
So this entry will probably only be understood by my immediate family and those who've known me long enough to remember that last name I gave up last century.
Anyways, below is the return address on the Christmas card I got from my nephew today. I suspect he got them free from some non-profit soliciting funds. And I'm equally sure he uses them on purpose on letters to family members because we all get a charge out of the creative manglings our family name gets. So here it is:
I guess this means the family is having fun with wood in the den, right? Or does it mean it's a fun den made out of wood? Or is it just a creative way to say that this family is fundin' wood? I don't know. It is a great name, but I don't use it any more.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
"National Nonwovens — A Steady Client"
Last year, about 60% of my performances were booked by previous clients. To me, this says that my clients are satisfied customers. A few of my clients book me every year for the same event: I call these "The Regulars". And several of my clients are in the category I call "Steady Clients": these are the ones that although they don't book me for their event every year, they book me repeatedly over the years. This is definitely okay with me. These clients regularly want something different but are so pleased with my work that they just have to keep calling me back again every 3-7 years or so!
Here's one in that latter category: Today I performed for the third or fourth time for the good people at the National Nonwovens Christmas party at the Clarion Hotel in Northampton MA. For the first little while, the children are active at the crafts table while the adults socialize. Then I set up in one corner and do my show for the entire crowd. And then, just as I'm almost done with the show, Santa shows up on a firetruck right outside the door next to where I'm performing. We all sing "Jingle Bells" as Santa comes in. Once Santa's all set in his chair by the Christmas tree, I go through the crowd waiting in line and distribute Christmas stickers to all the kids... and many of the adults always want some, too, so I let them have some as well. And at random points in there, everyone also goes through the food line, too, so that by the time Santa's done, I'm done and everyone's done eating, too, so then we all go home. It's short and sweet and to the point and everyone has a good time.
So a big hearty THANK YOU to the fine people at National Nonwovens in Easthampton MA for being a Steady Client. I deeply appreciate your repeat patronage.
Monday, December 15, 2008
"CT Forum — one of The Regulars"
Speaking of "the regulars", the Connecticut Forum is one of them. It's a pretty cool group in Hartford CT that does some pretty cool things. Their website describes themselves thus:
...plus, as it goes on to say: they also do a variety of outreach programs. (They've got a really cool teen program!) Well, today, for the third year in a row, I helped out with one of their outreach programs. The Connecticut Forum's Annual Children's Christmas Party is a simply wonderful Christmas party held in the grand Ballroom at the Hartford Marriott. It is a deep pleasure to be a part of of this amazing event. The party is for deserving and under-served children from all the city's elementary schools. The Forum hosts ten children from each elementary school in Hartford. (I believe the kids themselves are chosen by the staff at each school.)
So today there were about 250+ kids there ages 4-12, plus supervisory adults from each school, plus around 50 high school volunteers in elf hats (and several in full elf suits!) who helped run the event, plus hotel staff, plus a whole bunch of adult Forum members running the booths.
There was cookie decorating, 16"-tall felt Christmas tree decorating, a couple of other activity booths in the back I couldn't get to, face painting, an entire meal (the event runs over lunch time on purpose), Santa of course, and Mrs. Santa too, photographers handing out free polaroids to pretty much everyone, Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer wandering the crowd, me on stilts getting everyone jumping for high-fives (!) and doing little shows and entertaining the crowd with selected items from my Bag of Tricks and giving out a ton of free Christmas stickers too, a couple of jugglers doing a fun show, a mime/clown or two making the kids laugh, and much, much more! And to make it even more cooler than it already is, it's held in the Grand Ballroom at the Hartford Marriott! How cool can that be for these kids?! It's an absolutely terrific event! And everyone — and I mean absolutely everyone in the entire grand ballroom — had a fabulous time!
YAY for the Connecticut Forum! Bravo! Job exceptionally well done! I salute you!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"The Best of The Best-of-Craigslist"
Last night I was reading "The Best-of-Craigslist" and it was absolutely hilarious! People nominate ads that are funny, outrageous, or just downright incredible. Here's my four favorite ones just from the first page. I list them here counting down to #1 Letterman-style.
This first one is simply amazingly weird:
#4) 6 November 2008 nyc I have a huge bathroom
These next two belong together #3) 10 September 2008 nyc SWF who isn't asking too much
#2) 16 October 2008 tor INTELLIGENT, cultured 22yo wm seeking Asian women (preferably Nihonese) As an extra bonus feature, there's a photo of this INTELLIGENT, cultured 22yo wm.
And I just plain don't believe this one. It is definitely the creme de la creme in my book:
#1) 23 September 2008 hou Light house cleaning needed This one has several unbelievable pictures. WHOA!!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
"Homelessness"
My performers guild buddy Rob Peck called me a few days ago and asked if I'd join him and donate my services to entertain a whole bunch of temporarily homeless people in Fitchburg MA who were displaced from their homes because it was at least 10 days after the last storm and they still don't have their power restored: no heat, no hot water, no electricity, no nothing... just phone service, that's all.
Rob's contact there said that about 130 people were camped out in the local elementary school for the past week. She (Rob's contact person) had volunteered to deliver a truckload of food to them but was told that they actually had too much food but what they really needed was something for the kids to do because they were all going stir-crazy. I learned while we were there that even the kids who brought hand-held video games had run out of batteries by about Day 3.
To make matters worse, between Monday (when Rob had told her we'd do it) and Thursday (today), the elementary school's heating system had died, and everyone had to pack up again and move over to the Fitchburg Senior Center where the cots were lined up wall to wall in every single room in the place. It was really depressing.
On the way there, Rob and I spent most of an hour making a very detailed plan of exactly what who would do when during the time we would be there. We carefully planned out 20-minute "sets" for both children and adults that were engaging, entertaining, and educational, including teaching the parents some FUN games they could play with their kids to help pass the time. But when we got there, most of the adults were still at work (duh, they lost their power, not their jobs!), and most of the adults that were left not only weren't parents but many of them were either mentally or physically handicapped, plus there were only about a dozen kids on site at the time. We basically had to scrap most of what we had planned. But that's an entertainer's life; you have to be comfortable changing everything at a moment's notice and be able to go with the flow. So we did.
First, Rob entertained the crowd with hat tricks, music, and juggling from his old days as a professional juggler (He's a professional speaker now). Then it was my turn. I entertained about the same amount of time doing tricks from my Aerial Delights Show. And finally I let the kids try out all my equipment that I had just used in my show while Rob did juggling lessons. Afterwards, I went around the whole place and gave away a boodle of free Christmas stickers to the children... and to most of the adults who were there, too! And then Rob and I went home, both of us extremely thankful that we could go home.
We were both initially pretty disappointed that it wasn't anything like what we'd planned for, but once we got used to it and just did our jobs, we were fine. It was actually very gratifying to bring some joy to these unfortunate people. It was even more gratifying because as I went around the room giving out the stickers at the end, nearly every single adult (including the volunteers from the military that were helping out) said that they had actually been watching us from wherever they were in the room and had really enjoyed our performances. YAY!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
"In Which Nancy Turns 44"
Today is my lovely wife's birthday! She's awesome. She s
mart, attractive, funny, and introverted. She's going to grad school next month to learn to be a science librarian. She and I are the sole members of a huge mutual admiration club. She makes me laugh regularly. And she likes small gatherings of people she knows way better than huge events with tons of strangers.
After I got back from Fitchburg on Thursday, we drove up to her parent's place in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont for a couple days. Today, more of her relatives showed up: her sister Wendy's family, who live nearby but were going to be in Philly for Christmas; so they came over to exchange gifts before they left, and to celebrate Nancy's birthday together.
It was good to see them all, as always. And it was FUN to give my lovely wife some of the special attention she both needs and deserves. She's the BEST!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NANCY!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
"Chanukah, Chanukah,
Come light the Menorah..."
Earlier this month, I got a call from Rabbi Shmuel Kravitsky about entertaining the children at the Chabad of the Four Colleges Chanukah party this afternoon on the third floor of Thornes Market in Northampton MA. I was delighted to be able to bring some joy those whose celebrate this wonderful holy day.
Unfortunately, it snowed pretty much all day today and the roads were terrible, so that really held people back from attending, and 
drastically slowed down the ones who did attend. Actually, the rabbi had had to go home and get something, so when I got there right at the beginning of the party I was the only one there. The rabbi returned about 15 minutes later. It was at least 10 minutes more before anyone else arrived, so that really didn't help our concern about the attendence! But by the end there were 15-20 people there, so everything turned out just fine.
However, there were only 3 children, so I entertained them with what's known in the business as "close up": stuff for a small group of 1-10 people standing around me in a tight cluster... you know: up close. Over a period of about 45 minutes while we waited for more people to arrive, I amused the three children with various items from my Bag of Tricks that I wasn't going to use later in my show.
Well, no more kids showed up and eventually it was just getting a bit too late so I had to start or I'd be late for supper! So I let the rabbi know I was going to begin, and you know what? The adults and college students came over and joined us, too! It was great! I did primarily focus on the kids (This was a kid's show.), but, as usual, the adults enjoyed it, and actually participated fully whenever given the opportunity. Awesome!
One thing I really enjoy about my job is helping people who don't really know each other to have a good time together at special events. It is wonderfully rewarding to see a room full of at least partial strangers draw together and engage with each other in laughter and commonality. This group did exactly that. By the end, they didn't exactly "know everybody", but they had had a lot of FUN together both individually and as a group. Most of them had been face-to-face, toe-to-toe, 1-on-1 with people they hadn't met before... and had enjoyed the process, too! YAY!
This being Chanukah, there were also latkes with applesauce (YUM!), chocolate gelt, free menorahs to take home, Jewish music, as well as a variety of doughnuts, beverages, and other celebratory party stuff for everyone to enjoy.
All in all, dispite the weather, everyone who made it there had a good time celebrating the first night of Chanukah!
The Same Day
"Me As Background"
Just because "the cute one" was between me and the camera at her parents' house yesterday, I ended up in the background of several of my lovely wife's photos. Here's a little collage:
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
"My Favorite Holiday Pet Peeve"
My favorite holiday pet peeve is parents who send out photo Christmas cards with pictures of just their children on them. It's especially frustrating with my old and far away friends whom I haven't seen in years or decades and have never met their kids so they don't mean anything to me. It's vaguely interesting to see their progeny, but it would have been really nice to so what my friends actually look like now instead of these little humans I don't know enough to care about. I know, parents, that your children are the most important things in your life, but children-photo Christmas cards are just one or two steps away from home movies, people.
I think our local nationally syndicated cartoonist Hilary Price expressed it quite well in this Rhymes With Orange cartoon:
That being said, I would particularly like to thank Heather and Peter Reid for their photo collage Christmas card that included themselves in a photo. Thank you, friends; it's good to see you. (Your kid and dog look good, too, but it's nice to see you.)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
"A Terrific Client"
Two shows today at The Grand Summit Hotel at Mount Snow in W Dover VT: one at 4:00 and another at 7:00. Well, two little girls who were at the first show showed up at the second show with thank you notes they had made:
Neither girl seemed to have any problems with writing over their art: Victoria wrote across my hat, and Lorraine signed her name right across my face! Lorraine thanked me for the sticker and then gave it right back to me by sticking it on her card! And as we learn from looking at skinny me in Victoria's picture, the reason why my real stilt pants have vertical stripes is that horizontal stripes make me look FAT!
Faithful readers may remember reading here earlier entries about previous performances at the Grand Summit Hotel at Mount Snow. They've been booking me for 5-7 shows a year since 1999. Previous performances there this year include 2/9/8, 2/30/8, and 3/1/8 (just in case you want to read the blog entries). Today I did Shows #46 and # 47 for this client. This is only the second time I remember doing two shows on the same day; so basically, I've been here 45 times already! And I'm going right back up there again in a couple days to entertain at their Grand New Year's Eve Gala Party! In performers' circles this is what is technically referred to as "A Terrific Client".
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
"New Year's Eve at the
Grand Summit Hotel at Mount Snow"
So, like I said in the previous entry, today I was up in West Dover VT entertaining a whole ton of people at the Grand Summit Hotel at Mount Snow's annual Grand New Year's Eve Gala Party! What a great party! I did it last year, too. Three of us from my performers guild, plus a dj. and the hotel's kitchen and event staff all together put on a fabulous party! Tim Van Egmond set up a "kids area" where crafts projects, puppets, limber jacks, and musical instruments were available for the children to have fun with for the entire duration of the party. For the first hour and a half, I was up on stilts walking the crowd while Chris Yerlig was doing his wonderful human statue routine up on the stage beside the dj. Then Chris switched to his mime persona Hoopoe and did walk-around with the adults while I did my stiltwalking show for the children in the back of the room and let the kids try out all my equipment afterwards. And an hour or so after that, Chris pulled out his balloons and began twisting balloons for the kids on one side of the room while I set up Project: Ribbon Dancer on the other side churning out ribbon dancers for the children to decorate and play with and keep as a souvenir.
Meanwhile, the dj is cranking out the dance tunes the entire time; there's an awesome buffet for the adults and another terrific one for the kids; a hot beverages table; and a cash bar for the adults. A couple hours in, when people were done eating, the staff cleared off all the food and set up two amazing dessert buffets! Plus, all the guest tables had party hats, party blowers, and 2009 tiaras for the guests' enjoyment, as well as fancy centerpieces and the good china.
What a great party!